What a wild year 2024 turned out to be, eh?
These past twelve months were, without a doubt, one hell of a roller coaster for me. It marked the end of a long six-year journey, and the start of what will be — God willing — a longer, brighter chapter of my life.
A few things didn’t go my way, sure, but in the end, and with the help of kind people, things found a way to sort themselves out. Ultimately, this year ended up being one of the best and calmest years of my life, most especially towards the end, as they where months full of a tranquility I’m still not used to.
2024 was undoubtedly a foundational year for me, one that saw me and my brother start a whole new life here in Italy, with nothing but our luggage and a handful of mementos from the past to remind myself of that which I need to work and build in the present so that we can have a good future — and boy, I sure still got a lot of work to do.
I’ve been doing these end-of-the-year posts for quite some time now so… without further ado, here’s a look at how 2024 went for me:
The Greatest (and ongoing) Journey
It took me six long years of repeated failures — and a pandemic throwing a wrench at everything to boot — but at last, on January 22, 2024, I was able to leave Venezuela with my brother.
I did not plan for it to be that way, but our departure occurred around the time of the 25th anniversary of us moving from Maracaibo to Caracas in search for a better life. At that time, in January 1999, we left Maracaibo with our mom, with nothing but a couple luggages, leaving behind friends, a good school, and Zulian culture behind — which is why I unfortunately do not have a connection with my own birthplace.
We arrived in Turin safe and sound on the 23rd, but we experienced huge obstacles in what essentially was a legal loop that I could not resolve on my own, and thus I was unable to rent a place in Turin. (Here’s a proper explanation of what happened).
Thankfully, I was able to find help at the eleventh hour thanks to the help of friends and through circumstances that I can only explain as our mom taking care of us from Heaven, because that’s more or less what happened.
We eventually moved to a small town in the region about an hour or so from Turin, and we’ve been living there since. It’s a small apartment, only one bedroom which my brother occupies while I mostly inhabit a corner of the living room, sleeping on a couch, but it’s a place to stay, and start anew. The landlords have been very kind to us.
We eventually obtained our Italian ID cards and other local documents, was able to easily open a bank account (much easier than Venezuela, to put bureaucracy in perspective), and slowly work out through some other hurdles. The best thing so far, without a doubt, has been the noticeable improvement on my brother throughout the year, and you have no idea how happy that’s made me.
In recent months he’s become much more outgoing, has been cooking his own meals for the first time in his life, and has become more independent — going as far as to go get a haircut on his own and enter the dentist’s room without me needing to accompany him earlier this month. He’s also started to have more initiative with things, and come up with new things on his own. He’s also way further ahead than me when it comes to learning Italian.
It’s all so fantastic for me, his older brother and acting father figure. Sometimes he goes back to his shell and his little world that the bedroom now represents, but progress is progress. One of the major things that I still haven’t been able to figure out is helping him find out if he wants to study, learn something, or even work, but compared to a year ago, he’s been doing way far better than ever.
There were some high-stressing moments such as a crazy neighbor that thankfully moved away in July, some minor dental problems for my brother, and a rather scary situation with one of his ears in August that almost undid all of my brother’s progress at the time — but that’s all in the past now.
There were certain things in this first year of our great journey that I was not prepared for or could have foreseen, such as overcoming the uphill loop of being an Italian citizen born abroad but not a resident of Italy that almost made me gave up earlier this year, but overall, things have been finally going my way, thank God.
I don’t know if it’s just me, but my life has had recurring or coincidental circumstances, be it recurring numbers, cyclical events that seem to repeat with new twists and turns, or things that keep happening over and over again.
As I said above, I didn’t planned for it to be that way, but we left basically around the time of the 25th anniversary of us moving to Caracas — so, symbolically speaking, that flight to Italy marked not just the end of not just the six years that I spent trying and failing, but the end of a 25-year old chapter of my life.
Still, there are some happy coincidences and parallelism that I can draw from both different starting points in my life.
Back in 1999 I went through that year as a strange kid in a strange land (Caracas). I didn’t have any friends, and lived in a cramped apartment with most of my mom’s family and some cousins. Back then, I slept on a mattress in a floor, and absorbed myself playing Final Fantasy VIII as my main form of escapism from it all
Now, in 2024, I was a stranger in a strange land (Italy), sleeping on a couch, and playing Final Fantasy XVI. While I do have friends and people that have helped us in this town, we are of different generations, so there are things that I can’t talk to others about such as video games or similar interests — more so because I barely know anyone around here and I can barely communicate with others. Spanish and English can only get you so far around here.
There are some things I’m still not used to, such as the weather (I can tolerate it a bit more now than at the start of November for sure), and my complete disconnection from most of Italy’s cultural aspects.
Legally I’m an Italian citizen through and through, but functionally-speaking, I am part of the worst migrant crisis in the Western Hemisphere, so I’m still in between both sides, but never being fully part of either. The lack of meaningful cultural connection with either nation does affect me every now and then.
This is an ongoing journey for both of us. As many of the over eight million of my fellow Venezuelans who have also left the country can attest, it’s not easy leaving your home behind to start anew. Whereas the journey to leave Venezuela is now over, the journey towards a new life continues.
The Crimson Dream
Sword of Vaifen, my biggest passion project and the first entry in what I aspire will be, a multi-book saga, is something I had to put away for a couple years as I tried to find a legal way to migrate with my brother.
I finally unfroze this project in late May after we moved to this apartment, but progress was severely slow, I must confess. It was not until mid-August, right after my brother’s ear situation was solved, that I went full speed ahead.
I spent the past four months working on it, fixing grammar mistakes I made years ago, polishing everything from the ground up, revamping dialogue, and making some minor changes to events and locations so that things make more sense.
I finished the final draft a little over a week ago. This final version is much, much better. I made no substantial changes to the plot of the characters other than a few notable exceptions.
The message of the book remains the same: It is the story of a man, born in a now-dead world where heroes and legends once existed, who wants to be a hero like his ancestors. A man recruited by his king to fight for his nation alongside a group of men and women, and who experiences what it means to fight for someone’s smiles along the way.
Presently, as of the time of this post, I have sent out copies to a very select handful of friends for beta-reading. Once they finish and give me their honest feedback, I’ll proceed with getting an editor, commission cover art, and all that. I sent the copies a couple days before Christmas, so I’m waiting for New Years to be over before nagging them, lol.
I also did not plan for this to be that way, but I finished the draft hours before the Spirit of Christmas, a traditional Venezuelan tradition that coincides with the date of the Winter Solstice. This holds a highly personal importance to me because, in her last Spirit of Christmas, in 2017, my mom, as the tradition dictates, wrote a letter with her wishes. One of her wishes was that she asked God not to take her away until both me and my brother found our own path in life.
She knew I was working on this saga, and was looking forward for me finishing it one day, alas, fate had other things in store…
The goals for 2025
Leaving Venezuela with my brother was the “Main Quest” of my life for the past six years ever since my mom passed away. Now that I finally completed it, I can focus all of my attention on other goals and seek out new pursuits, some of which I put on hold for the longest time — and I shouldn’t had done that, honestly…
Fulfilment
I spent six years with one goal in mind, not thinking of anything else because nothing else mattered to me the most.
Without that pursuit gnawing on my psyche every day now, and after some introspection, I’ve come to admit that one thing my life lacks is proper fulfilment. I find joy and purpose in helping others, in making others laugh, and making everyone’s life better in what little ways I can.
While I aim to continue doing that until I die, I feel like there’s something missing to fill a growing void in my life, one that worsened because of my past failures, and which I can only keep ignoring for so long.
This void, perhaps, goes hand in hand with the ever so present loneliness that’s worsened as of late. I am a loner outcast at the end of it all, and that so far hasn’t changed here in Italy.
Continue establishing a foothold here
This includes getting serious with learning Italian, which I’m super far behind, like, months and months behind when compared to my brother. If I understood my landlord right, there should be some Italian courses for migrants starting in January.
There’s also an Italian course specifically tailored for one to pass the driving license exam, which I also gotta get. I have my Venezuelan license here with me, but I don’t have a car yet. Even if I were to buy one tomorrow, I can only use my Venezuelan license up to late March, the date when I obtained my Italian residence, and not a day past that.
Getting a license would solve some stuff for me and my brother, as public transportation, while clean and cheap around here, can only get you so far, and is not 24/7. A car (with its license, of course) would allow us the ability to go to other towns with ease, visit bigger cities, go to markets, and what have you. That’s one of my goals for next year in addition to learning Italian so that I can actually talk to people properly, of course.
Beat the shit ouf of depression
I am my own worst enemy, and depression, something I’ve lived with for the longest time, is a creation of my own worst enemy, myself.
I’ve been making some progress here and there but, to be honest, it’s a rollercoaster. There are good days, there are bad days. There are nights where it doesn’t let me sleep, and there are mornings where I don’t want to get off the couch, but I end up doing it because I have to work and do other stuff.
Sometimes it hits me light, sometimes it hits me really hard. I’ve been keeping myself busy with Sword and other stuff so as to not think on the sources of my melancholy, but that can only go so far.
Just have to keep going. Eventually, life will perhaps present someone or something that helps me overcome it, time will tell.
Continue fixing my health up
I not only have to fix my mental health, but my physical one too, mainly because I wasted so many years going through self-neglect.
I’ve been taking baby steps to improve my health and lose weight. So far, there have been noticeable results despite still having a long road ahead. I’ll see if I can get a bike to stroll around, or try to find a gym that I can go to once I have a car. In the meantime, I’ll keep going with my DDP Yoga and walking routines, eat healthier, and try to mix in new forms of exercise.
Sounds like an excuse, but would be great to have someone to go to the gym with to keep myself motivated and held accountable.
Publish Sword, start working on Sins
Another of the main goals for 2025. As I mentioned above, a handful of beta-readers are going through Sword’s final draft right now, and once that’s done I’ll apply the received feedback and start looking for an editor.
As for Sins of Vaifen, the second book, is something I “started” writing in mid-2022 but don’t have much to show for — that’s going to change next year.
More content
I have severely slowed down on content on this site, which I originally launched as a means to express myself amid Venezuela’s socialist collapse and my own personal struggles at the time. I’ve been slowly but noticeably steered away from a Venezuelan-centric focus as time went on.
While that will always remain a part of my focus, I wanna dabble into making more entertainment content such as memes, edits, which I’ve been doing for years now, but also other fun things like streaming video games or what have you. I tried streaming in 2022 but my outdated hardware and spotty internet connectivity wasn’t ideal for such things — now I have much better hardware and internet, so I don’t see why not.
A couple years ago, between 2020-2021, I was working on a project about presenting the past 20+ years or so of Venezuela’s disaster from my “non-normie” perspective, seeing as I was 11 when Chavez rose to power, and lived through the past 25 years of it. The plan called for me to go through all of it from my perspective, but with the seriousness it called for.
Unfortunately, that project fell apart, but I still have all of the notes. Lately, I’ve been thinking about finishing that up on my own after I’m done publishing Sword — thing is, I’ve come to loathe the idea of potentially being yet another one that profits from our collective tragedy, so…
I’ll keep thinking about what to do with what I have so far. Either I’ll finish the project up and try to get it published, or just publish it here chapter by chapter as I work on it.
Regardless, I’d try to do more “my way” this time and have it be less serious and spice it with my characteristic dark humor and penchant for laughing at the absurdity of it all that I’m known for — except for the really serious parts, that is.
Get to know Italy
I am blessed with being a dual citizen of two of the most beautiful countries on Earth: Venezuela and Italy.
The former has been scarred by the socialist Maduro regime, who has trashed its lakes, destroyed much of its beauty, and tore apart the fabric of tis society through haggard ideology. Not much I can do on that regard, and it’s not like it’s a safe country for me to go in and out as I please, seeing as there’s growing hearsay of dual citizens being arrested, so yeah…
Italy, however, is a country that while I’m a citizen of, I know nothing of. I didn’t really got to do much exploring or sightseeing this first year here, as I barely got to even walk around Turin in my desperate first month trying to sort our hurdles up.
Some of the towns I briefly visited these past 11 months was because of paperwork-related affairs or for very specific stuff such as blood tests, events, or accompanying others to do errands. Some of the towns I’ve been to were because of my brother’s ear emergency and subsequent medical appointments, so that doesn’t quite count as exploring, does it?
A vacation
I don’t even know what a vacation is anymore, seeing as my last one was back in 1999, when I was eleven years old…
I don’t know where I’d even go yet, I’d very much visit friends and all that, but for that I’ll money and be in a better financial situation that can afford such extra expenses — don’t forget that most of my expenses are inherently doubled because I have to provide for my brother, and a vacation would also mean 2x flight tickets, 2x food costs, etc.
I have one of the “best in slot” passports yet, just have to find the right stats to be able to use it, if you know what I mean lol.
Everlasting Happiness
My ultimate goal in life, the one thing I want the most for myself, my brother, my friends, and everyone who I’ve had the fortune of crossing paths in my online and offline adventures.
Everything I do, everything I fight for, has this as its final and absolute purpose.
2024 was one of the best years of my life, God willing, 2025 will be even better for me, for you, for everyone.
Thank you so much for putting up with my bs, I’ll see you guys next year with even more bs, more memes, and more content. Please look forward for Sword of Vaifen!
We’re all gonna make it,
-Kal
